Star Wars Saga: The Road to Episode 7 Part 2 – The Prequel Sequels

It was the summer 1999 when Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace first hit the big screen. The media blitz was in full effect, and the toy stores were flooded with all the new Star Wars toys. Darth Mauls were running rampant, and everyone was talking like Jar Jar Binks. I remember standing in line for 3+ hours in the blistering Arizona heat waiting to get in to see this movie. Because what could be wrong with it..it was the start of a whole new trilogy, there was nothing for Lucas to screw around with. Boy was I wrong.

This film was such a huge disappointment to me upon its release that it was like getting punched in the stomach by your grandmother on Christmas morning. There was just so many flaws with the film, that even at 16 I could pick up on. For instance…what the fuck are midi-chlorians? This is the thing that makes up a Jedi…then why the fuck are we just hearing about it now. Do midi-chlorians no longer exist in the future. I know that the Jedi is all but extinct…but in order to have Jedi you must need these midi-doodads, right. These are all questions fans had, that Lucas had a smart-ass reply to, that all summed up to saying, “I can pretty much do what I want”. And he was right. And millions of people would pay to see it to.

But that is only the start of the bad with these prequel sequels. They literally look like a visual effects artist sat and jerked his dick for a bit, and spewed CG-jism all over the screen. It is so unappealing to the eye. So much so, that this “state or the art” visual effects, does not hold up at all today. That brings us to Jar Jar. Oh Jar Jar. What could have made this film great, is if Jar Jar died. This is literally the most ANNOYING character in the entire Star Wars universe. I like him less than I do the Ewoks. I understand Lucas wanted him to be the new C3P0. The difference is, audiences liked C3P0. Sure, he was obnoxious and bumbled around, but unlike Jar Jar, they could just shut him off, of take his head off. Maybe that’s what they should have done to Jar Jar. I know I would have enjoyed that more.

The one totally badass element of this film was Darth Maul. The character that during the entire media campaign looked as if he was going to be the Darth Vader of this trilogy. He was just what the audience needed to make this film tolerable. The only problem is, he is only in this film for maybe a grand total of 10 minutes of screen time…and that’s me being generous. Then to top that off, they kill the motherfucker off in the first film. WHAT THE HELL?! You kill off the one element that people liked about this film, but Jar Jar lives to see to more films(and edge his way into Return of the Jedi). There is no “Movie God”.

Even with the bad press this film got, it didn’t stop Lucas from continuing his saga and making two more films. Each one coming under more scrutiny, but bringing in more and more money. And with each new film, the level of CG just kept getting more and more over the top. I’m surprised there was any live-action actors involved with Revenge of the Sith at all.

But you have to take the good with the bad. George Lucas has proven he likes to tinker with his creations, and when the Blu-rays finally came out, there was even more changes made across the entire saga. Why? Who knows. Maybe Lucas wasn’t loved enough as a child. Makes you wonder if he went through his parents home video collection and fucked them up, because he didn’t like the way they always ended the same.

But now comes a new day of reckoning. We are a week or so out from the all new, Lucas free, Star Wars Episode 7: The Force Awakens. Like I was so many times in the past with this franchise, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t excited. There is just something about Star Wars that always brings out that little kid inside of me. I really want it to be good. Even if it’s not, I’m sure I’ll own it, just to complete my collection. But I am really looking forward to seeing how they go back to the original cast, and bring the saga back, yet again. I hope this time they do right, what George Lucas did so wrong. I guess we will see on December 18th.

Till Next Time Kiddies…
-RJ

Star Wars Saga: The Road to Episode 7 Part 1 – The Original Trilogy

I, like so many people who weren’t alive when the first Star Wars film came up, grew up watching this film because of my parents. More specifically, my father. He had these films recorded onto a VHS(let’s go into the “way back” machine kids, VHS was what you watched movies on before DVD or Blu-ray), and I was always watching them. I quickly became enthralled in the world George Lucas had created. Granted, this was before the time I really would have given a shit who made the films. But in the eyes of a child, it had everything that I wanted. Action, adventure, aliens, and villains.  All pieces that were needed to make this puzzle.

A New Hope sparked my curiosity into the character of Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi…but if i’m being totally honest, they were always overshadowed by Han Solo and Chewy. You just can’t come between a man and his Wookie. This was the film I watched most as a child, but Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi were all very high on my list of top movies. I was always kind of disappointed that I never had the opportunity to see the films on the big screen. I thought my prayers were being answered when in 1997 I saw that the Star Wars Special Edition was being released in theaters. My father being a fan of the film helped sway him to take me to see it. I sat in that theater anticipating the legendary scroll, and when it came, my heart skipped a beat. Fast forward to me leaving the theater…I was broke. Sure, the movie was good. Had everything that I loved. But it wasn’t the same. Why would George Lucas go an give a face-lift(that’s putting it nicely) to one of the most influential films ever made. In following months, slowly the other films came out in the Special Editions, but I didn’t go see them. I wanted to keep my memory of the films intact.

That is until they came out to buy on VHS(there’s that strange word again…when do the DVD’s get released?). That was the first time I saw the other two redone films. And the left me with the same feeling as the first one did. It left me wanting to go back and re-watch the original unaltered versions, where Jabba was a mystery until Jedi, when Han shot first, when it was a small scale Ewok celebration at the end of Jedi, as opposed to a full blown galactic celebration.

Watch was George Lucas thinking? To be honest, I don’t care anymore. If he wants to fuck around with his movies, and alienate the fans that made him a very rich man, then by all means, more power to him. But the original(better) films should be readily available for movie goers to purchase, so it doesn’t feel like you are having to shop on the black market to get your hands on these films. Almost seems like you were trying to track down the Star Wars Holiday Special or something(ironically, that is probably easier to get your hands on).

Even with how much I didn’t care for the Special Edition treatment of the films, it didn’t stop me from being a Star Wars fan. In fact, it might have strengthened my resolves on the film franchise a little bit. Because I would stand by to defend the films as long as I could. And I still do today. So when I heard tale that George Lucas was going to be making a “new” trilogy, I was excited. Because this was something new, that he could do whatever he wanted to with, and bring Star Wars to the next generation of movie goers. I’ll be honest, I was a little skeptical, but very excited to see the first installment, or this all new Star Wars trilogy….

Till Next Time Kiddies…
-RJ