For about ten years or so, it seemed like every other movie that was coming out, was a remake of some sort. It really made it appear that the filmmakers and Hollywood machine had finally ran out of ideas. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking an older film, and remaking it to bring it to a new generation. I’m actually fine with that. But it was the fact that they were churning these turds out fast than rabbits fuck, that was the problem. With them popping so many out, in rapid succession, a lot of them by the same production company, they weren’t spending the proper amount of time on any one film. With this, we are forever burdened with films such as Psycho, The Omen, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and even Halloween.
These might be ok to many people, and that’s fine…we aren’t here to analyze your terrible taste in cinema…but everyone has to realize that these are nowhere near what they could have potentially been. But, the light at the end of the tunnel is this. Much fewer remakes are being produced. Sure, they are still going to be a fact of life. In fact, there are a couple being released this year. But they are actually listening to the masses and keeping them to a minimum. This will hopefully make the ones that do come out, just that much better. But it makes room for the original films that are being written everyday.
And yes, for all you smart asses out there that saying, “Well sequels are just as common as remakes. What do you have to say about that?” You’re right. Making a sequel is perfectly ok in my book…if there’s more than 12 months between films. Need we look at the Saw and Paranormal Activity franchise to see what happens when you wipe your ass with a piece of paper, call it a script, and throw it up on the big-screen every year. There are always exceptions to the rule, but I believe these are good rules to live by.
This next bit goes to the failure franchises. How many times do you have to “reboot” the Fantastic Four franchise before you realize you’re beating a dead horse. This is an example of 2oth Century Fox making complete garbage, just so they can hold on to the licenses they own. Making a movie just so someone else can’t is the a terrible platform to start from. But this franchise and company aren’t the only offender. Much like the most recent Star Wars film, sometimes you have to go back to the basics, and get the polluted, creative minds that obviously have lost it somewhere along the way, out of the room, and get a whole new set of eyes to bring something back to life.
I know if you look at IMDB.com or any other list online, you could say, “what are you talking about crazy man? There are a shit ton of remakes on the docket for 2016-2017 alone.” Yes there is. But what you might not realize, is that many of those projects have been up for years and years, sitting in “movie limbo”. Eventually they might happen, but I would get my hopes up on seeing the Pet Sematary remake anytime soon.
Here is just an example, Friday the 13th. Yes, the film that I’ve bitched and complained about until I was literally blue in the face. That is a remake that genre fans as a whole, more or less didn’t like. Sure, there were people out there that enjoyed the movies. But the also probably never saw a Friday the 13th movie prior to Jason X. With the fan backlash, they decided it was a good idea to REBOOT the franchise yet again. They’ve toyed with the idea of found footage, and that met with major fan uproar. And now, the movie was slated for 2016, and it has yet again been pushed back to 2017. That means they will have waited 8 years to produce another film. This is both good and bad. You can spend too much time thinking about something, and it could just end up being a total pile of shit by the time you get around to making it. Just look at the Star Wars prequels. Once they made the remake, they should have just gone back to the basics of Friday the 13th. The formula that worked for years.
In the end what we are looking at is the Mason/Dixon line. There are always going to be people on either side fighting their points, while no one is really truly happy in the end. As I do think the “Day of the Remake” is gone. That doesn’t mean that they will never happen again. They will, and there is more than a 80% chance that they will all suck harder than Linda Lovelace. But, I’m not going to worry about that. In fact, I’m going to embrace it. I hope they are ALL TERRIBLE. That way I can bitch about them on here, and get all that lovely hate-mail I cherish so dearly.
Till Next Time Kiddies…
-RJ
The Movie Pit 